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I laugh and cry every time I think about telling this story.

I think the day that you are outwardly open about your sexual preference is one of the scariest for anyone, most of all those that don’t have the sexual preference that everyone expects them to have. My dad’s family is Muslim, my mother grew up a Jehovah’s witness. Between ignoring my grandma’s calls to go with her to the Kingdom hall (Jehovah’s witness church for all of you that don’t know) and ignoring my dad’s calls completely, on the face of it, there may not be many families with harder ears in terms of homosexuality.

But I was 14 in very much in the ending credits of the first love of my life so I thought yes, let me solidify the legitimacy of this crumbling relationship via announcing it to my mum.

Youth makes you really think all your ideas are excellent when they really just aren’t.

This is how it went with my mum.

 

I was in a Wimpy in Camberwell (I don’t go there very often these days but, every time I do pass Camberwell New Road I feel exactly as I did on that day). I think I had a spicy chicken burger with chips and a vanilla milkshake. My mum had a bacon cheeseburger, chips and a strawberry milkshake. I remember that clearly- not sure why. And if you know South London, you’ll know East Street Market- we had just left there.

My coming out conversation with my mum went like this.

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Me: Mum I think I like girls.

Mum: *for the whole restaurant to hear* PARDON?
(People are looking at our table now, and I am rapidly shrinking into my seat)

Me: What are you actually saying to me Remi? Hmm?

Me: *i’m now the size of a human thumb* (whispering) I have a girlfriend

Mum: *stands and proceeds to shout * so basically what you are saying to me is that you are a lesbian ?

*now the entire the restaurant is looking at me and I want to cry and literally just run out into the main road*

Mum: you are making life very difficult for yourself Remi- it’s just a phase regardless, but you are making life very difficult.

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We left the restaurant and she continued in the same vain up the road. On the bus, off the bus and to our house. She spoke to my aunts (all five of them) that afternoon. Recharged and came back and kept speaking to me.

Forward to present day and we laugh about it now, I suppose.

Because how wrong can a mum be?

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