Looking For Something Special

Travelling from London to the Midlands for an interview has brought me, a certain air of satisfaction, that I hope is going to be permanent. This is a snippet of an analogy, for what I mean when I say I’m looking for something special.

To be clear, it’s not the literal journey that envelopes me in warmth, like a toasty duvet. It’s the thought that I can do anything I set my mind too. Everyone can if they spend time understanding and growing in knowledge about someone you are with 24/7: yourself.

What makes me feel like I have the pulse of a rabbit when in hot pursuit of its mate is what is highly comparable to the thrill of travelling. Being aware I have few stamps in my passport, the world awaits.

I used to think that the reason for previous misplaced lows of confidence were for the main part attributed to love scars from maltreatment in past relationships. Perhaps. Overseeing the current scenario now the maltreatment was actually, for the main part, inflicted on myself.

It used to keep me up at 3am only to wake at 6am. The reason I had to abruptly end my last relationship. The realness is, I need to be free. My souls pines when it sits inside looking at the glinting rain when it longs to be on the other side of the window.

It’s that continuous growth that I’m after. And, when in my mind I am preventing myself from embarking up a ladder towards the sky I become cranky which makes little sense because it’s MY mind. I should have a better grasp of its needs. But this too like some of my needs are subject to change, like life.

If you are too are looking for something or perhaps someone, do share your thoughts with the hashtag #SpecialAZ

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